The ability to empathize and feel emotion is an important competitive advantage in the world of artificial intelligence and self-learning robots. Empathy is very important for successful communication with others, for careers, and for relationships. It depends a lot on your genes and upbringing, but as research shows, there's something you can do. We've put together 6 scientifically proven methods you can use to improve your ability to empathize and understand the emotions of others.
What Is Empathy? And Why Is It Needed?
Empathy is the ability to understand and share another person's feelings and emotions. Empathy is an integral part of emotional intelligence, and it is very important for building good relationships both at work and in personal life. People who do not show empathy are seen as cold and self-centered, and they often lead an isolated existence.
In practice, this means connecting to the other person's emotions and providing support and understanding. But empathy is not a one-way street. You must also be able to share your feelings in order to foster a closer, more authentic connection with those around you.
Is It Possible To Develop Empathy?
Some people have a higher genetic predisposition to empathy. However, most people learn empathy in childhood simply by observing others. A child accepts empathy from adults and understands its emotional benefits. Or he or she may show empathy and be praised for it, which reinforces this trait.
But can adults learn to empathize?
This research by Teding van Berkhout [psycnet, 2016] shows that adults can indeed learn to be more empathic.
So today, we've selected six scientifically validated techniques to help you develop this ability.
6 Scientific Ways To Develop Empathy
Practice Mindfulness
Research by Boris C. Bernhardt [annualreviews, 2012 ] shows that the islet is an area of the brain that is very important for empathy.
Another study by Sara W. Lazar[PMC ,2005 ] claims that people who practice mindfulness have more islets than the average person.
Behavioral studies have shown similar results. For example, in one experiment Paul Condon [Meditation Increases Compassionate Responses to Suffering, 2013 ], scientists sent a group of people to an eight-week course on mindfulness. They then tested the trained participants and the control group.
Only 16% of the control group gave way to a woman with signs of trauma, while 50% of the main group did so. As it can be seen, the two-month Mindfulness practice yielded tangible results.
Talk To "Others" More Often
Others here mean people who are beyond your usual social circles. Say, if you are an atheist and all your friends are atheists, you should hang out with a Muslim, etc. Research by Grit Hein [PNAS, 2016] shows that people who spend more time with "others" have less prejudice and more empathy.
This is how you learn to see the world through the eyes of another person and practice your empathy skills. However, note that this practice does not mean that you have to adopt their views. You simply accept the fact that there are other points of view.
Learn To Listen Actively
Many people talk a lot more than they listen. They either tell their story or ponder the answer in pauses. Meanwhile, active listening is an important skill that helps you understand and empathize with your interlocutor.
Here are five steps you can take to become a better listener:
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Be aware to concentrate all your attention on the conversation. This
means forgetting about your phone, looking periodically into the other
person's eyes, and absorbing every word.
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Don't interrupt. Even if you think you understand what he or she is getting at, let him/her talk. At the very least, you may be wrong in your
conclusions.
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Summarize. Once the speaker has finished his monologue, briefly summarize what he said and ask, "Did I understand you correctly? You'll make sure
you've understood correctly, and he'll know you're really interested.
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Ask questions and clarify. Engage your natural curiosity and ask unbiased
questions to better understand the other person's perspective, thoughts,
and feelings.
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Take pauses. Don't answer as soon as the person has finished. The pause
will give you a chance to collect your thoughts and think about what you
heard, and sometimes the person may remember some more details and add to
what was said.
Active listening is a very powerful tool, even if you say only a couple of phrases during the whole conversation, the person will consider you empathic. The most important thing for him is to be heard.
Read
Reading fiction is the easiest way to immerse yourself in another person's world, moreover, in the world of many different people. As you read, you learn to understand what a character feels and why, and how this is reflected in their behavior.
Research by Raymond A. Mar confirms that reading fiction increases empathy [degruyter, 2009].
In another experiment by David Comer Kidd [AAAS, 2013] scientists decided to test which genre is more effective at developing empathy, classics or Literary Fiction. Predictably, the best results came from the second option.
Under stressful conditions
It has long been believed that stress causes people to shut down and withdraw into themselves. A new study by L. Tomova shows that this is not the case [OXFORD Academic, 2016]. If you are stressed doing a task (and you are told you are doing it wrong), the brain's "empathic circuitry" is more active.
If you are feeling bad, if you are in difficult circumstances, this is the most appropriate moment to practice your empathy.
Make More Friends And Play Video Games With Them.
Researchers have proven that as little as 15 minutes of playing together can establish an empathic connection between complete strangers. [Loren J. Martin, Cell, 2015]
Researchers tested empathy in a very interesting way. In the same study, they conducted an experiment in which participants immersed their hands in ice water. When they did this with friends, they rated their pain as greater. Added to their personal pain was the pain felt by those closest to them.
There was no such effect in the experiment with strangers. But 15 minutes of video games melted the ice, and the subjects now showed the same reaction with new buddies.
Of course, you can choose other activities besides video games, like sports or board games.
Summary
Empathy or the ability to empathize is one of the key components of good communication. This ability is in the genes and develops in childhood, but even now you can practice it. Here are 6 scientifically proven ways:
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Practice mindfulness - it literally changes your brain.
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Connect with people from other social groups.
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Train your active listening skill.
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Read fiction.
- Communicate under stress.
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Make new friends and play video games with them.
These simple yet powerful methods can help you understand other people better. How important do you think empathy is to a modern person? Write your opinion in the comments!
Many thanks for reading.
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